The "Twin Flame" Up In Flames

Twin Flames. This buzz-word has become such a trigger term for many. As a psychic, astrologer, and tarot reader, a lot of people come to me wanting to know about their relationship, while professing confidently that they have met their “twin flame”, because they read an article on the internet about it. What am I possibly supposed to say to someone who is sure they have met their twin flame? By the way, who am I to say they haven’t? You can’t argue with belief systems. When I look at the charts, the cards and the energy for them, I see just another imperfect, human relationship. Thoughts clouded by a delusion of idealism is the basis for a dangerous notion that this person “completes” them as their other-half. It’s only dangerous in the sense that it’s a set up for grave disappointment and emotional wounds formed from attachment. How is one supposed to love again after they’ve broken up with their “twin-flame”? Who would want to follow that act? Would every subsequent relationship just be a consolation prize?

My lack of neutrality in opinion is shaped from my experiences. People tend to think twin flames are the ultimate soul-mate, or the ultimate love. So what of those who haven’t found their twin flames? All of a sudden it becomes the haves and the have-nots. Love is love, without a need for comparison or hierarchy of importance and labels.

I have come to see soul mates as people of special resonance and significance in our lives, often fraught with painful experiences to help us grow, not a happily ever after experience, as advertised. I see these soul mates as the ‘dark night of the soul mate’ because these types of relationships rock you to your core and make you face your shadow self, which can be a brave and painful task.

Aside from my personal observations about this spiritually faddish term, my opinion is that the closest thing to a twin flame relationship is the “other half of ourselves” already on “the other side”; like an as-above, so-below reflection sort of situation. Maybe like a spirit guide or guardian angel type energy. I've just personally observed the devastation from this romanticized notion this viewpoint causes and it’s painful to watch people unravel in front of me during our sessions from being hurt, because they set themselves up for a greater disappointment than if they had just entered into a relationship without such high expectations on a realistic note. It's possible your "twin" is a trauma-bonding. It's possible it's a narcissist-empath bond. We also have many types of soul-mates, often times not in a romantic context.

It seems these days that everyone these days is meeting their “twin flame” when they encounter someone with exceptional compatibility and special resonance. Compatibility does not guarantee a good match. It just shows you are compatible. For what though? Is it for learning you both have unhealed pain to deal with? Remember, you still have compatibility with your plumber. This doesn't mean you two are meant to marry.

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